Whats Up..?

Sister's friend to a Boy
.
.
"Hey whats up..??"
.
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Boy, "If i tell u, Will you sit on it..??"

WoW

Height of Creativity :
.
A girl tatooted 'W' on each of her bums...
When she stood, they were the initials 'WW'
But when she bent down,
It simply looked
'WoW'!!!!
.
:-) ;-)

Between the Bum

Tom came crying...

Dad : What happened.?
.
Tom : today at class when we got up from our seats for prayers, Roselyn, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her bum. Seeing that my benchmate pulled it out.
.
Dad : thats bad. But why are you crying.?
.
Tom : I know thats bad, so I pushed it back into her bum and she slapped me!
.
:D

20GB or More

True line for the decade
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An good girlfriend can save your 20GB or more memory space.
:P
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I hope you understood it!!

The Other Hand

An attractive young female professor announces a test
that would begin the next morning. No rain or Tyre puncture reason.
Be there or get a zero.

A young man in the back raises his hand, winks at the professor and

says "But what if we're incapable of taking the test tomorrow due to

extreme, crippling sexual exhaustion?"

The professor replies, "Then I suppose you'll have to write the answers with your other hand."

Fat but Tight

Dad before an arranged marriage : What say son? Did you like the girl??
.
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Son : Dad, the girl is a little bit fat!
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Dad : Son, No matter how big the house is, the door will always be small!!

Saved for 50 years

A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired,
.
.
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Her friend asked her, "What happened ?"
.
.
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She replied : This 70 year old bastard told me that he has saved
a lot from the last 50 years, and I thought it was MONEY...

Hot and Sexy Benz

Man to Superhot Air hostess
"What's your name?"
.
.
Air-hostess, "Benz, Sir"
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Man, "Lovely name. Any relation with Mercedez Benz?"
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Air Hostess Smiling
"Same Price Sir"!!!

Chocolate

You are said to be stupid when you visit an ice cream parlor instead of a chemist when your girlfriend says
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"I love chocolate flavor"
:D

Torchlight Needed

A boy and girl went in jungle to have sex
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15min later
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Boy,"I wish i would have brought torch."
Girl, "Me too. You are eating grass for the last 10mins."

Plant in Hole

A BOTANY student
has
brought to
our attention
the FACT:
.
.
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A PENIS
is the only thing
that has to be GROWN
before it is PLANTED in the hole.;-)

Worst Insult

A girlfriend asks her boyfriend, "Have you ever sucked boobs?"
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Boyfriend shyly,"No."
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Girlfriend, "Then did you suck your fathers cock when you were small, you son of a bitch."
:D
:D

Remove the Tooth

A girl goes to a dentist.
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She goes in and lies on the bed, removes her shirt and bra!!!
.
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Doctor, " I am a dentist!!!!"
.
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Girl, "Even I am here to remove a tooth asshole, its stuck in my nipples."

11 Bananas

11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 banana
.
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Fruitseller - I am not selling less than 12 bananas...
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1 girl said, " take them, we'l eat the last one"!!

No Smoking and Fucking

Salesgirl : sorry, you cant smoke here,
.
Customer : but I bought cigerates from here
.

Salesgirl : sir we sell condoms too,
.

but it doesnt mean u start fuking here.

Its "Nothing"

A small boy looks at an Elephants cock and asks his dad.
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Dad says Ask your Mom.
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Mom says, "Its nothing dear."
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Dad," See I told you didn't I ? Even this is nothing this slut."

Flowered Panties

Do you know why girls where flowered panties?
.
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guess, guess
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Its their way of saying, "Come water my garden with your pipe."

Handsome!!!

When three people have sex its called threesome....
.
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When two people have sex its called twosome....
.
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So next time when someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a complement.
lolz!!!!

Women's tears = Men's Sperm

Women's TEARS are similar to man's SPERMS
.
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Only One among a Million are for a useful purpose.

Dad In Hospital

Dad slipped in Bathroom.
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He broke his bones.
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Son reaches hospital and asks, "Dad how did you fall in bathroom?"
.
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Dad, "You son of a bitch, at-least flush off your cum after masturbating."
:D

The DIck

A psychiatrist in a group therapy with 4 young mothers and their kids.
Psychiatrist : "You all have OBSESSIONS"

He said to the 1st mother, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

To the 2nd mother, "Your obsession is money. It manifests in your child's name, Penny."

To the 3rd mother, "Your obsession is alcohol as your child's name in Brandy."

The 4th mother got up and whispered to her son, "Come on Dick, lets go."
:D..!!

Skin peeled while Sex

A illiterate maid was cleaning the bedroom when she suddenly screamed.

The housewife came running and asked maid what happened.

The maid then showed her a condom and asked, "what is this?"

Housewife, "Don't you have Sex?"

Maid, "I do have sex with my husband but not till the skin peels out!!!"

Holes in Condoms

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning the father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!"

"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.

"Well, of course I threw them all in the trash."

The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in the father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms."

"Oh my," gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?"
they asked.

"I poked holes in all of them," she replied.

The third nun said, "Oh shit."

Whistle from Ass

After marriage on first night of honeymoon
.
.
Man puts a finger in wifes ass.
.
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woman, "ahhhh...... put one more finger dear"
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Man, "what for? wanna a blow a whistle by ass?"

Texting In Class

Teacher's Note:

Dear Students,
We do get to know when you are texting in class
.
.
Seriously, no one looks at their private parts and smiles!!
:-):-D

2 Most important Words

2 most important words which begins any mans life

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"Push and Pull":-):-D

The Pain in the Ass

Man: Doc my ass is paining very badly, plz help me.

Doc: Ok, I'l put hand in your ass and let me know where exactly is it paining.

Doc put the hand in and ask the man. The man say ,"deeper, more deeper"

Doc ask the man again' "is this the spot of pain."

Man: "no deeper inside."

Doc, "Is this the spot ?"

Man after long time, "yes, This is the exact spot."

Doc: "You son of bitch, You have pain in TONSIL and its neck not ass." 

Just 3 words

Just 3 words by a girl are enough to destroy a man's ego and confidence.......
.
.
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"IS IT IN??"

Antisepic Soap

Man goes to a grocery shop.

Man: Do you have a good antiseptic soap?

Shopkeeper while scratching his balls: Yes!

Man: Then wash your hands with soap and give me some sugar.
:-):D

Difference between Potentiality and Reality

Youngest Son: Tell me dad, whats the difference between potentiality and Reality?
Dad: I'l show you with examples.

Dad turns to his wife and asks her : "would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?"

Wife: Yes of course!! I would never waste such an opportunity.

Then Dad asks the same question to his daughter.

Daughter: "Wow!!! Yes! he is my fantasy!

So Dad turns to his elder son and asks the same question.

Elder Son: "yeah! why not? Imagine what i could do with 1 million dollars! I would never hesitate!"

So the father turns back to his younger son and says: "you see son, Potentially we are sitting with 3 million dollars but in Reality we are living with 2 prostitutes and a gay."

Girls and Periods

Read this.......
Its awesome....!!!


Girl says: "Dear periods, i hate you....But the only good thing about having you is knowing that I am not pregnant"

The Nest

A Girl tattooed her pussy with a birds image,


After sex asks boyfriend. "Did you see the bird"


Boy: "No, but i loved the Nest."

Send A Man

Girls hostel lights gone for 3 continous days!!


The caretaker gets furstrated and makes a call at office


"For the last 3 days my girls are using candles atleast send a MAN today"

Why am I black?

Son: Mom, why am I black even though you are white?


Mom: Listen Son, considering all the mistakes and crazy things I have done in my youth, just thank God that you don't bark!!!:-)

The Little Thing

Whats similarity between man and Q ??



guess


both are zero without the little thing hanging down!!

The Doctors Sex Advice

A lady went to doctor for help with her sex life.
Doctor: Give your husband Viagra.
Lady: I cant. He hates pills.
Doctor: Just put it in his coffee.

Next week, she came unhappy.
Doctor: Was it not good?
Lady: No, it was the best sex I have ever had. He had a few sips of coffee then pushed everything off the table and fucked me right there on the table!!!
Doctor: Well, what's wrong?
Lady: I will never be able to show my face in CCD again!!!